|Steve and Mark getting ready|
|The view from our expensive seats. Good thing I brought my zoom lens!|
There were some early matches with people I don't really know, but the first big match was the Andre the Giant memorial Battle Royal!
|So many people in the ring it's hard to tell what the hell is going on. And you suspect there's really not too much going on.|
|Of course the giant won the giant's Battle Royal. Big Show takes the trophy|
|Now this match looks like it's gonna be fun!|
|Last men standing--Bryan and Dolph Ziggler (Steve's favorite for the match)|
Next up--time to bring out the old guys and make the audience cross their fingers that they don't see someone break a hip. Well, HHH is still in his 40's, but Sting is 56. I can't even imagine the history behind this match coming about because it's the first time Sting has ever wrestled for WWF/WWE. I guess he wanted another pop of fame and WWE is now pretty much the only show in town. He still has a huge fan following, so I'm sure that WWE benefited handsomely from his participation. But anyone who thought they were going to let Sting win the match has NOT been paying attention for the last 30 years. There was 0 chance of that happening, but he did make HHH work for it. The entrances were insane. Sting came in to a taiko drumming group (I'm still wondering if that was San Jose Taiko, and if it wasn't, seriously, WTF WWE?)
HHH came out to an even more inexplicable "Terminator" type entrance. What are you saying, that Stephanie married a cyborg? That HHH is from the future? That you gave Arnold Schwartzenegger an honorary award and therefore got permission to use the imagery for free, so you HAD to use it? Probably the last one.
|I don't get it.|
|Here comes the cavalry!|
I was seriously wincing and not wanting to watch by the end. Check out the bruising on HHH's ass and Sting's underarm!
Next up was the Legend's presentation. (Actually, next up was the obligatory women's match, but I definitely spent that entire match getting beer. Sorry. Ever since they started referring the the female wrestlers as "Divas" and got a reality show on E!, I've been dry heaving through every match. Sorry to the ladies who work so hard! I wish the WWE [and their fans] had more respect for women who weren't named McMahon.) I'm still not sure why the ex-Governator is deserving of any wrestling related honor, but he loves pumping iron, spray tanning, and popping up at every opportunity for fan adoration, so perhaps Vince McMahon and Arnold are actually long lost brothers reunited?
Next is the John Cena match. Cena is the "face" who no one likes anymore, who refuses to, or can't go heel. Because of the children. Or something. I don't know. He's sometime amusing and yet annoying, and the crowd seems evenly split. But under no circumstances can he ever be put in a position where he looks like the bad guy, so they took this Bulgarian guy and turned him into an old school Soviet-era villain. Because that is what you have to do to get some people to grudgingly cheer for Cena. The more politically knowledgeable folks found the whole thing laughable. Russia is not the Soviet Union and I think most people are just a little confused by the whole thing, but there is NO room for nuance in the world of wrestling. I gave 0 shits about this match.
Next up, the Rock came on and didn't wrestle, but did something that I still don't understand with some MMA chick or something. Whatever. The Rock is still under contract, so he is obliged to appear! Everyone wants to see him. And he was never the best wrestler. Mostly we want to see him do something amusing and look pretty. He's still pretty, but this wasn't all that amusing.
Next up, Undertaker! The last of the old school wrestlers. Undertaker is still the gothest wrestler, and he got over that "biker-taker" phase he had, so I always like seeing him. This one was up against one of the Wyatts, who bring a "True Detective" kinda vibe, but are otherwise old school sweaty-big-white-chubby-guys-with-really-bad-hair-styles-type wrestlers. So I don't like them. Taker won. Because he's Taker. And also I heard that Wyatt wrestled with a bad injury and is probably going to live to regret that.
|A fitting entrance|
|This is what they call "selling it", because I'm such a wrestling expert ;)|
The title match was possibly the worst all time Wrestlemania match, and not because the wrestling was bad per se, but because I think it has been brought about by some really poor decision making by the powers that be. Brock Lesner, who keeps coming back mostly to be hated on and kick some ass, up against Roman Reigns, who is one of those lucky dudes that Vince just decided was GOING to be a Superstar regardless of what the fans thought of him. In fact, the fans are SO annoyed by Roman Reigns, that they were actually supporting Brock Lesner in a stunning reversal of alliances. But, Reigns was going to win. BUT, I think they knew they couldn't get away with that, so Seth Rollins cashes in his Money in the Bank, turning the match into a triple threat and takes the title by pinning Reigns. The whole thing was cheap. I was getting cold and antsy to leave. The beer was beginning to wear off. Can we just end this already! It's the Main Event and I could not care less about the outcome.
|Brock manhandling Reigns. Does anyone believe he could actually lose to Reigns?|
|Holding the title belt.|
|Yeah! Finally the fireworks!|
What a weekend! It was a lot of fun, but I'm glad it was a one time thing. That was exhausting! I can't even imagine what it must be like to have to work that weekend. Hats off to the folks who made it all happen--they also had to put on Monday Night RAW after all that. I hope they got to sleep on a beach for a week after it was all over.